The next day at the office I got Jack Bass on the phone.
“You still want to divorce Cindy, Jack?”
“I dunno. You got anything on her?”
“Let’s put it this way. The two gentlemen she had contact with are now dead.”
“Contact. What the hell do you mean by ‘contact’?”
“Jack, please, these guys are dead now, there was a Frenchman and a space alien.”
“A space alien? What kinda crap you feeding me?”
“No crap, Jack. We’ve been invaded by a few space aliens from Zaros. She met one of them in a bar. Pretty well-hung chap.”
“He’s dead now?”
“Yeah, him and the Frenchman, like I said.”
“You kill people?”
“Jack, these guys are gone. Cindy’s not going to play anymore. You can relax.”
“How do I know she’s not going to play anymore?”
“Don’t worry. I got an ace. She’s not going to play.”
“You got something on your camcorder she doesn’t want me to see, is that it?”
“Maybe. Maybe not. Let’s just say I can nail her ass with this if she does.”
“But I want her to be with me because of me, not because of some blackmail.”
“Blackmail, schmackmail, Jack, she’s not going to play anymore. I got rid of her contacts and she’s gonna keep her panties on. What more can you ask? Maybe she’ll even get to like you. Give her a chance to come around. She’s young, she needed a fling, what the hell.”
“With a space alien?”
“Be glad. Nobody will ever know who he was. It’s almost like it didn’t happen.”
“But it did. You say he was well-hung? How well-hung was he?”
“Hard to tell. He was working…”
“You watched?”
“I stopped it.”
“How about the Frenchman? Was he well-hung too?”
“Jack, both those guys are dead. Forget it. You’ll be getting my bill in the mail in a couple of days.”
“There’s something about all this that doesn’t rest well with me.”
“She’s not going to play anymore, Jack.”
“But suppose she does?”
“She won’t because she knows I can nail her ass.”
“There you go again. You weren’t banging her, were you?”
“Jack, Jack, Jack, please! I’m a professional.”
“And these guys are dead? How do I know this?”
“Jack, you’ll know by the way she behaves. Now stop worrying. You got anything else you want me to solve? I’m the best dick in L.A.”
“I don’t have anything right now.”
“O.k., Jack, have a nice day.”
“Sure, sure…”
I hung up.
I opened the desk drawer and got out the vodka, had a hit. Things were working out. Now all I had to do was to find the Red Sparrow. And stop from getting too involved with the space aliens. Or Lady Death.
I had another hit of vodka. And allowed myself to feel all right. For a while.